First: You have to want to overcome the anger. You might say, “That’s obvious.” Not quite, for many enjoy nursing a grudge – licking our wounds can be very tasty – as long as we don’t forgive someone we have ammunition for fights as well as excuses for failures in other areas of life. But the longer we lick our wounds, the greater the risk of infection! “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;” (Hebrews 12:15). Hurt and anger retained in the heart lead to bitterness – A toxic condition which not only hurts you, but others as well. ‘Psychosomatic’ describes how the mind can actually make the body sick. God doesn’t want us to be sick from hurt and anger, He commands us to put it away! (See Ephesians 4:26-32; Mark 11:25,26; Luke 17:3,4; Leviticus 19:16-18.)

Second: Are your wounds unique? “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” (I Corinthians 10:13). – There is nothing new under the sun, including ways to be hurt – others have overcome! “If all our problems, like laundry, were hung out on the line, you’d take yours, and I’d take mine.”

Third: Do not overestimate yourself. “Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken; lest thou hear thy servant curse thee: For oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22; Titus 3:1-3.) Often the thing that hurts us about others is what hurts us about ourselves. “Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”
~ Thomas a Kempis

Fourth: Forgiveness is often overrated – Read the account in Luke 17:5-10 where Jesus explains that forgiveness is just a part of a slave’s duty, requiring only a mustard seed-sized faith to accomplish. No wonder, considering the insurmountable debt that was wiped off of our books for Christ’s sake. So we must be careful not to break our arms patting ourselves on the back! Overcoming hurt and anger is part of our humble service to the Lamb of God!

Fifth: Assume The Cost. Being hurt costs us something. Accept the fact that the hurt you sustained either cannot or may not be paid. Have you really had to pay for all the hurt you have ever caused God or others? Aren’t you glad you have obtained mercy?

Jesus assumed the cost: “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification. For even Christ pleased not himself; but, as it is written, The reproaches of them that reproached thee fell on me.” (Romans 15:1-3). Jesus paid it all – Can you afford to pay some?

Sixth: Overcoming hurt and anger requires good spiritual digestion! “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” (Colossians 3:12,13). We have to eat all kinds of food – some good, some bad, some indifferent – good bowels are perfect for keeping the good and getting rid of the bad!

Bowels represent our ability to have mercy! “But go ye and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice: for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Matthew 9:13; 12:7). – Good digestion is learned, and will not seek to retain the hurts and anger of life.

Seventh: Despise the shame! “Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising (‘to disesteem’) the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:2). Are you hurt and angry because someone caused you shame? Despise the shame! It is really nothing when you look at it from the true perspective, the eternal perspective. Jesus endured shame – the reproach of those who thought He must be guilty – hanging between two thieves – dying like a criminal. But in our own minds, do we see any shame in the man Christ Jesus when we look back at Him through the eye of faith? No, only glory and honor comes to our minds when we survey the wondrous cross!!

Did Jonah ever overcome his hurt and anger? We are not told, but what do we have control over is our own wounds. Looking to our Heavenly Father and His Son, our Savior Jesus Christ, we see the way to overcome. We need to ‘predestinate’, or determine beforehand, that we will do all we can to forgive the wrongs done to us. God created the world knowing it would cost Him His Son – But in the end, He gains far more than it cost Him! (Revelation 13:8; I Peter 1:18-21).

We must remember that life is going to cost us: Enduring mistreatment and injustice is a small price to pay for eternal life! May this proverb describe each of us as we put away the hurt and anger that may lurk in our hearts: “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.” (Proverbs 19:11).