Volume 46   Number 8                                                               April 2004

This present controversy about marriage in our nation is only the most recent battle in the seemingly never-ending war against what is right and proper. Our society continues to degrade away from such basic necessary foundations as marriage, families, and other aspects of the Lord's will that have long been considered necessary to a stable culture.

For those of us who are appalled by what is happening, this should come as no surprise. Marriage between a man and a woman has been mocked in various forums and nowhere has this been more clearly seen as in the form of entertainment. With a few exceptions, TV shows have mocked this divine institution-even in appearing innocent. It is no wonder many are asking, "How can we save marriage?"

How then can we save marriage in our society from so many years of degradation and disregard? The answers are easy, but yet they are difficult for many to accept. For instance, husbands can love their wives as Christ loved the church. (Ephesians 5:25-31) Again, marriage has been mocked and ridiculed in our society for so long that this answer seems simplistic. But yet, I believe this is at the very root of the problem. Husbands are not encouraged to love their wives as they should.

They are encouraged to be selfish and to look out for their own interests rather than the interests of their wives and families. Many men prioritize other interests such as sports and other guy-activities and leave their wives and families to fend for themselves.

Husbands can honor their wives as weaker vessels. (1 Peter 3:7) They can set the pace for their wives and families as the God-fearing leaders they should be. They must be like Joshua and set a standard in our evil society by stating, "choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." (Joshua 24:15) It is my conviction that many women are looking to their men for this kind of leadership, and many will follow godly leadership when it is offered.

Too often men fail in this task for several reasons, but many men are afraid to take leadership roles. The Lord expects them to be the head of their wives and families. This headship is a serious stewardship and should never be misused.

Husbands can treat their wives with gentleness and the proper devotion necessary to godly priorities. They must understand that they are generally stronger than their women, and they dare not abuse their strength and authority by beating and mistreating their women as many do.

How can we save marriage? Wives can submit to their husbands as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22-24) When husbands/fathers offer godly leadership, wives must respect this headship that has been ordained by the Lord. It is one thing for wives to not obey when their husbands require things of them that are against the Lord's will, but it is quite another for wives to refuse their husbands' godly leadership functions.

Wives, especially young mothers, can accept the instructions of Paul to Titus as taught in Titus 2:3-5. They can set their priorities toward their husbands and families and not accept the priorities the world tries to impress upon them. These worldly priorities have the false allurement of fulfillment, but in reality they leave many empty as in the case with all that the world offers. When all people, men & women, submit and accept the Lord's priorities they will receive true fulfillment and joy.

How can we save marriage? Perhaps our society has gone way too far down this destructive path to save marriage. But we can teach what is right and positively effect our own marriages and those we come in contact with. Choices and outcomes such as these come within our grasp, and it is left to us as to what we will do and say.

Let us not be afraid to stand and speak for what is right and proper in regard to marriage and all the other examples of God's grace and provision for our lives. The Lord has given us many precious and good gifts including marriage. Let us show our respect and honor for these same good gifts by submitting to the Lord's will in every aspect of our lives. We will then receive what He has promised to those who seek Him and His will.