Volume 42 Number 11 July 2000
The above quote is a lie... and a truth, depending upon the context.
Perhaps you recognize the above ad from a popular greeting card company.
Unfortunately, when they use it, the context is a lie. The idea is
supposed to be that if you care enough about a person then the more money
you spend the more you must care about them. Unfortunately, many people
have bought into this lie (pun intended) which encourages us to show love
to our children, our spouses, and our parents by spending lots of money
on them rather then being responsible toward them as God requires.
Consider how parents are encouraged to buy their children lots of
niceties in the name of this quote. This is supposed to show their love
for them. In reality parents should be raising their children in the
“training and admonition” of the Lord. Parents should be respecting the
heritage God has given them (Psa. 127:3) by loving, disciplining, and
providing what their children truly need not necessarily what they want.
By parents giving their lives to the godly rearing of their children they
are indeed caring enough to give the very best. This is not necessarily
related to the amount of money they spend.
Consider how this lie has encouraged spouses to think their “love” for
one another is based on how much money they spend on each other as well.
How should I love and honor my wife? I should love and honor my wife as
the weaker vessel. I should consider her the great blessing the Lord says
she is as better than rubies. I should honor the sacrifice she makes as a
homemaker and her willingness to love and honor her husband by not
casting my eyes upon another woman. My love for her is indeed gauged by
my giving my best but certainly not in the context as the above quote is
used to motivate spouses to purchase expensive gifts.
Finally, consider how this lie has affected many adult children by
encouraging them to dishonor their parents. It is my observance that
every Mother's and Father's Day we can see nursing homes swamped by
floods of flowers and gifts. These gifts seem to be intended to assuage
the guilty consciences of many adult children who are not willing to take
the time and
make the sacrifices to truly take care of their elderly and infirm
parents. In my mind this is one of the great curses and abominations of
our culture.
Please do not misconstrue what I am saying. There are times when elderly
parents (& people) must be put in nursing homes due to factors that
cannot be controlled. But if I give into the lie that my responsibility
toward my elderly parents is no longer needed and is fulfilled if I give
them the very best in things money can buy without honoring them as God
requires, I will be held to account.
Remember the example of Jesus speaking to the Scribes and Pharisees in
Mat 15:4-6. Apparently the Scribes and Pharisees were guilty of taking
funds they should have given to their parents, and giving them to “God”
instead. I put the name of God in quotes, for by doing this they were
making a mockery of their responsibility to their parents, and God was
not pleased nor did He respect their gifts.
Yes, the phrase “When you care enough to give the very best” is both a
lie and the truth. Let us be wary of falling into the lie of thinking
the amount of money I spend on someone shows how much I love them.
Rather, let us apply the godly attitude of truly giving of our lives as a
reflection of how we love our children, honor and love our spouses, and
honor and care for our parents. That is a treasure worth buying into.