“In the course of life events occur which may change us dramatically. As a result of these events we are never the same. This article is written to share with others such an event and to encourage those who face physical trials”

These were the opening words of an article entitled ‘The “C” Word’ written by the late Kay Stoops in the January 1999 issue of The Gospel Message. The article described her battle with cancer—a definite life changing event. At the time, her disease was in remission, but shortly after this article was published, periodic testing indicated that her cancer was growing again.

Strengthened by her positive spiritual attitude, Kay accepted God’s will not to remove the infirmity of her flesh. She acknowledged that God’s grace was sufficient for her and that His strength was made perfect in her weakness. Therefore, she gladly counted it a privilege to endure affliction, that by her weakness the more the power of God’s grace is manifested; affirming that the promise of God’s abiding presence will not fail us in our trials. It was clear that God’s purpose for Kay was to share with others the story of “unqualified” commitment to God’s will, and the benefits of living a simple life and the futility of striving for more physical “things.” She planned to write a follow-up article, but her infirmity prevented it. This article is a compilation by her husband of the rest of her story based on their recorded conversations and bible studies, and her letters to others.

In early 1999, Kay was taught that some things we want very much in life (even for a good and noble reason) are not always within God’s will or purpose for us. This is a hard lesson to learn. It can only be accepted by abiding in God’s word, praying frequently and fervently in the spirit, and trusting in the Lord with all your heart. Most of the following story is told in the exact words of Kay relating how she was able to cope with her life changing affliction.

“Life is a state of mind. There are two roads we may choose: 1) a positive attitude of love, peace and contentment, or 2) a negative attitude of worry, unhappiness and discontentment. Each of us must make the choice and this choice affects not only ourselves but also those we love. It isn’t always easy to stay on the positive track because we are human with a physical body. Sorrows, illness, and disappointments with self and others may often come our way.”

“When I was first diagnosed with cancer in 1997 I did not know if I could go on with life. I was in mental agony. Every waking moment the fact that I had cancer, which was inoperable, played like a broken record in my mind. I came to realize if I didn’t change my outlook I would not live for very long, plus I would become a terrible burden to my family. There are some things only the individual involved in the situation can change. This was the case for me. I had to change my attitude. I turned to the word, listening to tapes of the New Testament day and night. After a short time, a very strange thing began to happen in my life. I was no longer listening to the tapes to erase the “cancer thoughts” but because of a great joy and strength that was coming from the word. I began to pray more often. The spirit and love of God became strong within me. As a result, I began to develop a better attitude.” In her new state of mind, Kay developed a system of rating events in life on a scale of 0-10, of which she said, “To my surprise I find most life events rank near the zero mark. Only a few things in life are important; God, family and others.”

“Simplicity is the key to a happy life, so live life as simply as you can. Be satisfied with a little house and garden with time to help others. And time to set on the porch every day after your work is ended and look across the fields to the trees and reflect on the creation of God. Do not desire the physical things of life—other things are more important. The greatest value in life is living very simplistically and serving God—that’s what we need to do. Riches must not be our goal. Putting all our energy into climbing the mountain of “success” is not productive because the higher you go the more you have to have to sustain your way of life. It’s an endless cycle. Solomon said that when you get a lot of “stuff” the only good is seeing it with your eyes because it takes more people to sustain the increase and it’s value is canceled out.” (Eccl. 5: 10-11

“So young people, just be satisfied with what you have—keep life simple—because when you face death you won’t take any of it with you; it will be left to others. If a simple course of life is followed, young wives and mothers can be satisfied being a house wife. Our teaching is very lax in that many of our young girls are not being taught the skills of homemaking. In too many cases, women consider themselves more as bread earners than keepers of the home—but you see, there is such a joy in being a wife, mother and grandmother. I don’t think people esteem the homemaker very high anymore—little girls are asked, what you going to do when you grow up? I tell my granddaughters that they don’t have to do anything but be a very attentive mother—that is the best vocation ever.”

Kay observed that “Christians, for the most part, do not have a deep understanding of the scriptures in regard to God’s power to assist them in living or dying. We are not taught to use God’s word as a walking stick for support in the Christian walk—too often it is used only in a quarrelsome way regarding doctrinal issues and opinions. Teaching in the church does not focus as closely as it should, on what the Lord wants us to learn about living and experiencing a closer relationship with the presence of God.”

Kay continued to say, “I was not taught how to walk closely with God. If I had walked with God all my life as closely as I have the last two years I probably wouldn’t have this cancer—because David said, ‘God…is health to my countenance’ (Psalms 43: 5); and I truly believe that!”

Finally, Kay could say with David, “It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes” (Psalms 119: 71). May we never forget the lessons in this story, from the opening statement to a closing verse that Kay believed with all her heart:

“This article is written to share with others a [life changing] event and to encourage those who face physical trials ‘to develop positive spiritual attitudes of submission to and acceptance of the Lord’s will’. “For it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life:” (Deut. 32:47a)