Volume 38   Number 2                                                                                   October 1995

When God created woman from man, He made them one; not physically connected, but one as God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit are one, one as Christ is with the church. God made man over woman in the same way, as He made Christ head over the church.

Man was told to "love his wife as Christ loved the church and died for it." (Ephesians 5:25) In making vows one to another, you are not only making a commitment to each other, you are also making a promise to God. When the husband is told to love his wife as Christ loved the church, the same teaching reminds us of the beginning when God created the union of man and woman as husband and wife, and said, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:31) The husband and wife are to have the same common goal of caring for each other's needs, not selfishly, but as if they are caring for their own needs, for they are one.

Man was made head over woman, not as dictator, but to guide, protect and take complete responsibility for her and the household. Woman was made man's help mate to encourage, giving strength in times of stress, sharing in times of joy and making decisions together as they travel life's road. Being a partner with someone in marriage is nothing like being a partner with someone is business, those partnership agreements are written with a clause to dissolve the partnership if things don't go as planned. Marriage is not like a budget that looks good on paper, but in reality is un-doable. When a couple promises to love, honor, and obey, they are not promising to be a mindless puppet, doing whatever the other says without questioning. They are promising to love each other at all times, honor each other at all times, and obey the commitment they made to each other at all times.

In marriage forgiveness is essential. Because we are individuals and think differently, there will be what seem like unsolvable situations. When they occur, don't linger on them - let them go, without one of you feeling they have to be the victor. There is nothing worth having your unity divided, especially to win a disagreement.

Communication is another essential ingredient in marriage, and if neglected it can cause great walls between the partners. Remember this even when it hurts to communicate. Without communication, there is no "we," only " I."

Truth is the binding ingredient of a marriage, without it there is no trust, and without trust there is no unity. Once a trust has been broken it is never completely made whole again. The vows you are about to make to each other are a trust, give them to each other in all honesty.